Category: Uncategorized

One Progressive Stoic’s View of the Democratic Primary Race

This year’s Democratic primary reminds me of the song I sometimes still sing to my small children, “This Is the Song That Never Ends”. It just goes on and on my friends.

(Checks the calendar)- It’s only February? Sigh!

Even though South Carolina hasn’t even voted yet, the topic of who the Democrats will nominate seems to make its way into every conversation I have with a fellow liberal (and many conservatives too). It seems that my fellow liberals have a very good grasp on the field. They should have, they’ve spent enough time following the nomination process.

Even though I try to maintain an anti-primary bubble around myself to prevent information overload, I am still bombarded daily with some new piece of trivia.

Did you know Bloomberg spent this much money on his new ad?

Did you see how well Klobuchar did in New Hampshire?

Did you see what so and so said about so and so?

Many people want to be informed but not overwhelmed when voting. Unfortunately, the amount of information coming at voters is forcing them to try and take virtual sips from a virtual fire hose. Once you factor in “news” that is either nonsensical, lies, or poorly veiled government propaganda, it often makes finding information a nauseating process.

For myself, there are obvious elements of each candidates’ past that makes them more or less exciting. But what I ultimately care about is how the candidates will face the future. I keep coming back to these wise words from the great W.E.B. Dubois

“How shall integrity face oppression?

What shall honesty do in the face of deception?

Decency in the face of insult?

What shall virtue do to meet brute force?”

The next candidate will have to answer these questions immediately upon assuming the nomination. In not only their fight against Donald Trump, but in their fight to mitigate the damage he has done and to heal a broken country.

Unless monumental new evidence surfaces, I know who I will vote for. I will vote for that person, and then I will trust in the collective thoughts of my fellow Democratic brothers and sisters to vote for their candidate. And the most votes/delegates will win. Period.

We should remind ourselves, as Marcus Aurelius reminded himself that, “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Tuesday’s Terrible Take- The Elf Must Die

I thoroughly enjoy having children that still completely believe in Santa Claus and the magic of Christmas. Like the wise ones before me, I’m trying to stay in the moment and enjoy it all, for I know that this time will soon pass. And when it does, a part of me will be sad.

But that part of me will be dwarfed by the part of me that will be soooo relieved to NEVER have to move the Elf on the Shelf again.

I blame my wife for bringing this instrument of evil into my life.

Let’s think about the sheer volume of work that parents go through during the Christmas season. Baking cookies, decorating a tree, decorating your house, decorating outside in nature, shopping, dealing with the enormous number of other people who are also shopping, and let’s not forget about all of the actual work needed to pay for all of that shopping, there’s often traveling involved, shopping and prepping for another large meal rivaling the recent Thanksgiving’s feast, and finally the Christmas Eve some assembly required nightmare.

Given all of this, someone thought, I know, we should add something else for parents to do, every-single-night. Not some nights, not most nights, every single night!

Most houses are cold in December. There are few feelings in this world as crappy as being in a warm bed, about to dose off, when you realize you haven’t moved the elf yet. And moving the elf will require you to leave your fortress of warmth while also trying to be creative about the elf’s presentation. Gotta make sure my elf’s presentation is good enough to put on Pinterest. Amiright?

The elf must die.

You have nooo idea how right you are Mr. Elf

I’m not saying it’s today, or even this year, but the second my children even hint to me that Santa isn’t real, I’m chucking Frost Bite into the trash. Without remorse.

The elf is the W.O.A.T. Period.

Thankful Thursday

I’m thankful to live under the rule of Pacific Standard Time. Truthfully, I’m thankful for this every day, but especially on Thanksgiving. To roll out of bed and right into the Lions game is always enjoyable.

FYI, Lions on one screen, dogs on the other screen—a tradition like no other.

It’s nice to have a DFS slate as well. On all three-game slates, my action is low. But this 3-game slate garners more interest, simply because each game is an island game.

Today, I’m more concerned about building my perfect line-up of side dishes.

In a land where we are all so thankful for what we currently have, let’s all hope and pray no one gets trampled to death while shopping in the next 24 hours.

Let’s eat.

Tuesday’s Terrible Take

In the late 90’s, I traveled to Detroit on a regular basis. Even with the economic struggles, I couldn’t help but fall in love with the city and the people that lived there.

And so, every Thanksgiving, my heart goes out to the good people of Detroit.

Like most people, Detroit fans love their hometown teams. And like most fans, their team’s success (or failure) can greatly affect their mood. I know that Detroit is proud of the Thanksgiving tradition their franchise started and continues. But it must be a struggle for them.

Yes they want to watch their team play on Thanksgiving, but watching your team lose can spoil even the sweetest pumpkin pie. And Detroit fans go through this struggle year after year.

So this Tuesday’s Terrible Take goes out to the fans of the Detroit Lions… Detroit fans, let the Thanksgiving game go, at least for one year, and enjoy some nice turkey with a side of no losses. It will be yummy. Trust me.

P.S. I’ll be rooting for you on Thursday

Crazy Statements

As a reminder, 1/3 of Americans believe the sun orbits around the Earth.

Last week, God’s newest Chosen One, Kanye West, said he’s “unquestionably, undoubtedly the greatest human artist OF ALL TIME. It’s just a fact.”

Such a strong statement deserves some type of reply.

Here’s my 1,000 word reply to Mr. West. 

We Need an IMDB for Commercials

I’m sending this out into the internet ether in hopes of a positive response…

IMHO, IMDB is one of the greatest things about the internet. Long gone are the days when we would  spend an entire movie or a TV show thinking “what have I seen this actor in?”

So please internet, someone create an IMDB for the background music in commercials.

Most commercials play just the melody, tweak it a bit, and have some person speaking over it, and you can almost place the song, but not quite. It’s sooooooo frustrating and unnecessary in the age of information.

Please fix this internet. Thank you in advance.

Sincerely, your humble servant,
Hoss

The first PMRC Villian-20 years later

That fro is LEGIT!!!!

Unfortunately, this man’s half-brother and main heir died last night, which puts his music catalog in even murkier waters.

It’s only a matter of time before Darling Nikki’s guitar will be the background music in granola bar advertisements.

As a side note, a big thanks to Tipper Gore and the rest of the PMRC for eliminating foul language in music. Great work.

The Intersection of Cheap Wine and 80’s Music

From the file titled “Lyrics I’ve heard a thousand times and never really paid attention to, until today, and now I can’t stop thinking about them.”, I give you Axl Rose from the classic “Night Train” referring to a bottle of Night Train…

“Wake up late
Honey put on your clothes
Take your credit card to the liquor store
That’s one for you and
Two for me.”

Circa 1987 a bottle of Night Train costs about $2 after tax. Life is soooo bad in this song for the protagonist, he can’t even pay for his own Night Train, AND he can’t even charge it, so he needs someone else to charge it for him. Also, credit standards were much tighter in those days, so how did this young lady procure a credit card? And if she is a job-having, permanent address, good-credit, kind-of-gal, then what is she doing with a dude who doesn’t have $2 for his own cheap wine?

Obviously middle-aged me is much less fun than younger me.