He got into one little fight and his mom got scared…
Viktor Frankl famously said “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Nine seconds from the end of Rock’s joke, Will Smith had already laughed, interpreted his wife’s non-verbal cues, stopped laughing, rose from his seat, climbed stairs, and was almost halfway down the Oscar stage. Nine seconds is plenty of time to contemplate a proper action. Eight seconds is an entire bull riding session.
A Stoic Prepares.
Many stoics prepare vigorously for various scenarios. Whether it was wearing pauper robes to the Senate or making do with less, less food, less shelter, and less clothing, there’s a long history of testing “hardships” in order to remove this “hardship’s” power over the person. We also prepare, or at least I do, so I can be my best self in any given situation.
After Chris Rock’s Oscar monologue from 2018 wouldn’t Will Smith have at least thought about what he would do if he and/or Jada were once again the target of Rock’s jokes? And if so, was last night’s performance a premeditated plan? And if so, was this his best plan? A slap? Yelling?
And if Will Smith hadn’t contemplated this scenario, why the hell not? Has he never seen the Oscars? It’s hosted by comedians, who tell jokes for three looooong hours, and the target of most of the jokes are the people in Hollywood.
Has he not seen any of his online confessions over the past few years? How much material do you think a working professional comedian like Chris Rock has stored about you after watching just one episode of Red Table Talk?
Which gets me to… Chris Rock is a stoic and a professional.
There’s a point after the slap when Chris’s hand is balled into a fist. After all, we’re all human and instincts can take over very easily and quickly. Then Chris stops, composes himself, and makes a joke, “Will Smith just slapped the shit out of me.”
After Will Smith yelled/cursed, twice, there’s a quick moment where Chris Rock says “Man, I could…” Then he stops. This is the Viktor Frankl moment when Chris Rock could have chosen the Red-Table road or the professional road. He made the stoic choice. He chose well.
Chris Rock turned his attention to announcing the winner for Best Documentary, (Congrats to Questlove and the other producers!) and then calmly stood there on the stage while the audience and the world panicked.
And, he never touched his face. Not once! Stoic AF.
Lastly, the ego.
Ryan Holiday’s modern-stoic classic, Ego is the Enemy is about as fitting a title as one can place on Will Smith’s actions last night.
Unfortunately, temporary outbursts of anger often have long-term repercussions. If early reports from the internets is any indication (Oscar night was one of the BEST Twitter nights of all time!), both amateur and professional comedians are currently writing as many Will and Jada jokes as they can.
What would have been a two second unfortunate/hurtful punchline is now going to become a punchline for years to come. And those jokes will go viral, and they will be seen and relived by Will, Jada, and their entire family. Over and over again.
Ego is the enemy for us all, even if you are the Emperor of Rome or the biggest star in Hollywood.
