Normally, I enjoy writing about work/life balance issues.
Unfortunately, work/life balance has essentially been erased. Because of this pandemic, most of the world has now entered the realm of work/life integration. And so far, at least from my experiences and observations, work/life integration is MUCH harder. Which is unfortunate because many of us were not very good at work/life balance.
How do we navigate these new waters?
TBH, I have no idea. I’m also trying to find my way in this new reality. Only one thing is for sure, I’m a TERRIBLE second-grade teacher!!
But I do know one piece of advice that has NOT been helpful, even though it has been coming from the talking-heads and the gurus among us. Beyond the extremes (injecting heroin 24/7), chastising others for their lack of ambition and productivity is myopic and destructive for many people during these times.
- “You should learn 5 new skills during quarantine.”
- “It’s a perfect time to learn Spanish.”
- “Exercise. You HAVE to do it. If you can’t get into shape now, when can you?”
- “What a great time to learn to cook.”
- “If you don’t write that novel you’ve been planning, you were never going to write it.”
Too often, cursing, is a lazy route of communication. But this kind of advice and other advice like it is TOTAL bullshit!!
According to most podcasts hosts, I not only have to learn to do my job 100% virtually, learn how to be a kindergarten and third-grade teacher, learn how to co-exist with my entire family under one roof, get enough food and toilet paper, AND I have to learn Spanish and write a novel?
NO!
This is crazy talk. Will some of us take advantage of quarantine and come out with new skills? Yes. But most of us are working on only one skill, and it’s called survival.
We’re just trying to figure out day-to-day things we once took for granted. We’re trying to deal with massive job losses for ourselves and our loved ones. We are dealing with uncertainty on a global level. We’re dealing with physical and mental health problems, and many of us are dealing with Covid-related illnesses and sometimes worse.
It’s enough. In fact, it’s too much.
So next time you hear some talking head telling you how you can take advantage of quarantine time, I want you to think about this image.
This is the iconic image from 1969’s hit movie, Easy Rider. It is also the image that has hung in my friend’s “man-cave” for the past 25 years. The reason he has held on to this image, despite the constant pressure from his wife to throw it out, is because it’s a constant visual reminder of his dominant personal mantra.
There’s a scene in the movie, where Peter Fonda is congratulating his dinner host for leading a good life, and he says “You do your own thing in your own time. You should be proud.” This line stuck with my friend, and it became his guiding life philosophy.
Do your own thing in your own time, means to listen to your internal voice above all others, which is an extremely difficult thing to do, especially in our 24/7 social media world. But if you can apply this mantra consistently, then eventually you will find yourself leading a life that brings YOU happiness and fulfillment. It also means that established rules and norms should be tested and even ignored when they fail to match your internal compass—also a difficult thing to do.
Many of you have type-A personalities. You are trying to improve, get better, and move up. But sometimes you must cut yourself some slack!! Do what you can do. Let the rest go.
“Do your own thing in your own time,” is even more important now. Some days you will be very productive, and some days you will not be. Both are o.k. Don’t beat yourself, or others, up for not living up to false expectations. Unless someone was around for the Spanish Flu, they have no idea what it is like to live under these conditions.
Do the best you can. Period. Just know that some days that might mean curling up in a ball on the couch and watching Joe Exotic for 8 hours.
Do your own thing in your own time. Take care of each other. Work hard. Or not.