Author: Hoss

Repeating The Same Mistakes Over And Over

We’ve all bitten our lip, or the inside of our cheek, or our tongue while eating.

When you do this, there is immediate pain. But, the “best” part of biting your own mouth/lips/tongue is that afterwards, the body part swells, causing you to bite the part again, and again, and again.

Life is like this. We sometimes make mistakes and those mistakes cause circumstances that cause us to make additional mistakes, and on, and on the situation spirals.

How do you stop this behavior in life?

Not sure.

But I know how you stop it inside of your own mouth. You start by paying attention.

A person with a swollen cheek (like mine is now), after chewing on it enough times, will eventually change their eating behavior to be mindful of the swollen body part.

I don’t think this is the top-secret answer for stopping repeatable mistakes in a person’s life, but I think mindfulness of the problem is a good first step.

“The first step in solving a problem is to recognize that it does exist.”- Zig Zigler

Five Years Ago

It’s been five years since the world lost Prince.

I don’t think I’ve gone five years without buying a Prince album since the 70’s. (Fortunately, he has a new album coming out soon)

Remember kids, opioids can kill you, even if you are the greatest musician of your generation.

Image from Robert Whitman’s Intimate Photos of Prince on the Cusp of Fame

The Death of DMX

The death of DMX hits hard for many people. To me, the best hip-hop lyrics are when the artist is speaking about what they know best.

If it’s a Jay-Z joint, I want to hear stories about drug dealing and paper stacking.

Chuck D = political activism

Snoop = cannabis

MnM = “complicated” family issues

But unfortunately for DMX, he was always at his best when he spoke about his personal demons.

I hope in death he finds the peace he never found in life.

“To live is to suffer, and to survive, well, that’s to find meaning in the suffering.”- DMX

DMX Portrain
Death of DMX

Participation Trophies

These days, I see a lot of comments on social media from those Gen X and older about the “trophy generation”.

In over 4 decades on this planet, I’ve seen some glorious things and I’ve seen some things that would make the devil himself blush.

But I have NEVER, ever, in my entire life seen a 7 year old walk into a trophy store, lay down his own money, and walk out with 25 trophies.

Just like there are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners, maybe, just maybe, those throwing stones at the younger generation should take a long hard look at their own generation, since y’all were the ones who raised this generation.

p.s. the reason they can’t drive stick, is all you older folks stopped buying sticks in the 90’s (probably because you couldn’t drive a manual either), so manufacturers stopped making them. Supply and demand are real.

Rioting and Pandemics on a Monday Morning

It’s Monday morning.

Monday mornings are usually the barometer that tells you whether or not you are happy with your job/career/life/circumstances/etc, etc. It’s easy to be happy on Friday evening, but Monday morning is when the rubber meets the road.

“I believe you’d get your ass kicked for sayin’ something like that, man.”- Lawrence, Office Space

It’s understandable that most of us feel overwhelmed these days when thinking about the week ahead.

But please remember, none of us are going to end systemic racism this week.

None of us are going to end a global pandemic this week.

But, and this is a BIG but, we can all do our part.

We can all perform our tiny, insignificant part.

Fortunately, these insignificant parts, when added together, will make a difference. In fact it’s the only thing that ever did (cue the Margaret Mead quote).

So instead of obsessing over the news, or going down a social-media wormhole-of-despair this week, focus on how you want to improve things. Focus on how you want things to be better, and what your part in that can be, then do your part.

That’s all you can do, that’s all that we can all do. So let’s do it.

How Easy Rider Can Help You Navigate Work/Life Integration

Normally, I enjoy writing about work/life balance issues.

Unfortunately, work/life balance has essentially been erased. Because of this pandemic, most of the world has now entered the realm of work/life integration. And so far, at least from my experiences and observations, work/life integration is MUCH harder. Which is unfortunate because many of us were not very good at work/life balance.

How do we navigate these new waters?

TBH, I have no idea. I’m also trying to find my way in this new reality. Only one thing is for sure, I’m a TERRIBLE second-grade teacher!!

But I do know one piece of advice that has NOT been helpful, even though it has been coming from the talking-heads and the gurus among us. Beyond the extremes (injecting heroin 24/7), chastising others for their lack of ambition and productivity is myopic and destructive for many people during these times.

  • “You should learn 5 new skills during quarantine.”
  • “It’s a perfect time to learn Spanish.”
  • “Exercise. You HAVE to do it. If you can’t get into shape now, when can you?”
  • “What a great time to learn to cook.”
  • “If you don’t write that novel you’ve been planning, you were never going to write it.”

Too often, cursing, is a lazy route of communication. But this kind of advice and other advice like it is TOTAL bullshit!!

According to most podcasts hosts, I not only have to learn to do my job 100% virtually, learn how to be a kindergarten and third-grade teacher, learn how to co-exist with my entire family under one roof, get enough food and toilet paper, AND I have to learn Spanish and write a novel? 

NO!

This is crazy talk. Will some of us take advantage of quarantine and come out with new skills? Yes. But most of us are working on only one skill, and it’s called survival.

We’re just trying to figure out day-to-day things we once took for granted. We’re trying to deal with massive job losses for ourselves and our loved ones. We are dealing with uncertainty on a global level. We’re dealing with physical and mental health problems, and many of us are dealing with Covid-related illnesses and sometimes worse.

It’s enough. In fact, it’s too much.

So next time you hear some talking head telling you how you can take advantage of quarantine time, I want you to think about this image.

an image from "Easy Rider" of three men, riding only two chopper-style motorcycles, dressed in Seventies clothes.

This is the iconic image from 1969’s hit movie, Easy Rider. It is also the image that has hung in my friend’s “man-cave” for the past 25 years. The reason he has held on to this image, despite the constant pressure from his wife to throw it out, is because it’s a constant visual reminder of his dominant personal mantra.

There’s a scene in the movie, where Peter Fonda is congratulating his dinner host for leading a good life, and he says “You do your own thing in your own time. You should be proud.” This line stuck with my friend, and it became his guiding life philosophy.

Do your own thing in your own time, means to listen to your internal voice above all others, which is an extremely difficult thing to do, especially in our 24/7 social media world. But if you can apply this mantra consistently, then eventually you will find yourself leading a life that brings YOU happiness and fulfillment. It also means that established rules and norms should be tested and even ignored when they fail to match your internal compass—also a difficult thing to do.

Many of you have type-A personalities. You are trying to improve, get better, and move up. But sometimes you must cut yourself some slack!! Do what you can do. Let the rest go.

“Do your own thing in your own time,” is even more important now. Some days you will be very productive, and some days you will not be. Both are o.k. Don’t beat yourself, or others, up for not living up to false expectations. Unless someone was around for the Spanish Flu, they have no idea what it is like to live under these conditions.

Do the best you can. Period. Just know that some days that might mean curling up in a ball on the couch and watching Joe Exotic for 8 hours.

Do your own thing in your own time. Take care of each other. Work hard. Or not.